Many of us are twitter addicts but few can actually confess that they are. Today, after rigorous research and reading I finally discovered the characteristics that would distinguish you as a twitter addict.
1. You consider the people on twitter to be your actual friends. In fact, you find it hard to walk out of the door and make an actual friend. Yes, you also believe that you found ‘The one’ on twitter. Get a life you anti-social ba*tard.
2. You fear that people will recognise the clothes on your avatar because you think that you are famous and relevant.
3. You are at a date with a pretty girl. You happen to make her laugh (with a stolen tweet of course) then she projectile farts… What do you do next
a) Ignore the fart and assume it is normal
b) Also fart as a sign of approval
c) Rub your shoe on the ground in an attempt to imitate a fart sound
d) Take your phone out and pretend that your texting while you are actually tweeting “Omg, she just farted like a guy”
87% of you addicts will choose (d)… She wants the ‘D’ right?
4. You only watch T.V so that you can tweet about it and fit in with all the other cool kids that are watching it. Twitter reminds me of high school
5. The number of your tweets actually surpasses your monthly salary and you want us to think you are rich because you own a fancy smartphone.
6. You have a compulsive habit of posting from instagram and foursquare e.g ‘Just took 4sq.com.aabbccd here is the pic yall insta.gram.r33gf6r’ . Spare us your locations and your traffic pics dummie!
7. In the morning when you wake up, instead of going to take a pee, you check your mentions just to make sure the President has tweeted you because you are such an important person in this nation.
8. The primary purpose of your phone is not to make a call. In fact, when you were shopping for a phone, your primary objective was to tweet. Do you even call people anymore without saying “My battery is dying… Tweet me!”