2000 yrs from now, Another Bible would replace ours and the new Acts 16:16-30 will read like this

 

16 Once when we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a Pastor called Bakare who believed himself to be a truth sayer. He earned a great of respect.

17 He followed Oyedepo and Oyakhilome, shouting, “These men are not servants of the Most High God, They have private Jets at the expense of their poor congregation.”

18 He kept this up for many days. Finally Oyedepo became so annoyed that he turned around and said to the man, “If it’s your own private jet you want, why not just ask!” At that moment Pastor Bakare was disgusted.

19 When people realized all they cared about was Private Jets, they seized Oyedepo and Oyakhilome and dragged them into the marketplace to face the authorities.

20 They brought them before the magistrates and said, “These men are Con men, and are increasing their private wealth at the expense of the poor congregation21 by convincing them it is unlawful not to pay tithes”

22 The crowd, who haven’t drank Oyedepo and Oyakhilome’s koolaid joined in the condemnation of Oyedepo and Oyakhilome, and the magistrates ordered the keys to their private jets seized and they were thrown kicking and screaming into the back of a 1960 VW Beatle. Oyedepo and Oyakhilome believed the VW Beatle was not fit for men of their status and feared being mistaken for one of the poor people who attend their churches.

23 After they were driven around town in this raggedy car, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully.

24 When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

25 About midnight Oyedepo and Oyakhilome, were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.

26 Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose.

27 The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped.

28 But A senior guard ran to him and said “Oh don’t worry, that was just a Molue backfiring. As you all were” The jailer called for lights, rushed in and noticed the eager faces Oyedepo and Oyakhilome.

30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what did you think. . . .That you were going to be saved by Angels? Who do you think you are Paul and Silas?!!”

And all the other prisoners busted out laughing! “The Angels of God only save His people and you are not one of them” they shouted, laughing harder.

31. Oyedepo and Oyakhilome walked back to their cells, dejected they wondered when if they will ever get to sit in the comfy chairs of their private jets again.

Written by Sisi_kill

 

About Aim_LEGEND

I am a Graphic artist and lover of computer generated images. Business minded, and also love to have fun. I love the media. MablizzyOfficial is staying updated with info and keeping others updated as well..

Posted on November 13, 2012, in Politics and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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