Man Sues Dry Cleaners for $67 Million for Losing Pants
“I’ll sue the pants off you!”… literally.
A Washington, D.C. judge took his pants to get dry-cleaned at a family-owned business called Custom Cleaners. According to him, they never returned the correct pair of pants, and betrayed their “satisfaction guaranteed” sign in their store.
This served as enough reason to sue the business for 67 million dollars for losing his pants a.k.a. the most expensive pants in the history of pants.
Although later on, he was gracious enough to drop the case down to only, just only, 54 millions dollars — what a nice guy, right?
Lawsuit language has never sounded so beautiful. Roy Pearson, the offended pants-man, passionately describes his Âmental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort at the hands of a business where “never before in recorded history have a group of defendants engaged in such misleading and unfair business practices” to the judge. Basically, life without pants has been hell.
Pearson continued his tirade, always referring to himself as we (until the judge corrected him), in hopes he could get the thousands of Americans who are subject to “satisfaction guaranteed” signs to stand up and fight for their rights for quality service.
The case ended with the dry-cleaner owner holding up a pair of pressed pants, facing the judge, the jury and the plaintiff, and delivering the final blow to Pearson’s case. “These are your pants”,ÃÂ he said. Pearson ran out of the testimony, tears streaming down his face, shocked at such an injustice. To this day, he denies that those are his pants.